She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
