So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
50% drunk capacity currently
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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