windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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