I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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