my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
