The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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