nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
