Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
