I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
