AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
