I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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