have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
