Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
