she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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