Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
