DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
