Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize