i would punch a child for taco bell
Sacagawea was the original milf.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
