I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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