after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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