weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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