There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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