Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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