She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
