Its about making memories worth repressing
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
