I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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