I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
