I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
