i need an iv and a liver transplant
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize