So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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