Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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