were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
