Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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