out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
