her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
