If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
