Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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