Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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