My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
