Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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