Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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