Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
