4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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