we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
