You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
