I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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