i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
