I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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