College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
