Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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