dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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