I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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