A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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