I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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