First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
