remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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