i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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