You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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