people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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