just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
