I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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