After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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