How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
